my heart deciphers first
hears hope just under the rejection
tries to weigh it all up
with her no hands
or eyes
feeling all the things at once
until they traffic jam collide
a pile up
where she dangles in doubt
tries to repair what may not be broken
until she breaks it with her no hands
if she had hands they would wrap themselves
around each other in a worry that should
or should not exist
feelings all over the floor
love swimming upstream
my brain always leaps the other way
tries to read into and between the lines
tries to suss out intend and what was really being said
does not trust the information
until processed to damn near death.
somewhere in me logic lingers
runs interference to the point of exhaustion
logic holds the key to the tears
she covers them with
an attempt to cool the tempest
knowing she will have to do it again
soon
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